I will have lived before I die

It’s been awhile, I haven’t missed you. What are you doing back in town? I’ve got amazing people in my life, and exciting plans ahead for the next few weeks. You have no business being here. I have no business letting you be.

What’s the deal with this week? I am very in need of soaking up some rays in sunland this weekend. Two days!

thecrowsingstoo:

Fingers, searching, longing, curling
Taking, aching, silence-breaking.
A hushed breath in the night 
Murmurs like the wings of a midnight owl, 
Locating prey and taking flight. 

Sultry kisses round each curve, 
Traveling down these unmarked paths, 
Licked flame taunting every nerve,  
From the base of my stomach to the crook of my calves.

I tell myself I’m trying. And there are days that I do. And there are days I build up my walls again, negating all the effort I’ve spent trying to take them down. I don’t know if I’m ready yet. But I want to be.

The hangman’s noose tightens ‘round my neck

My throat constricts as I squeeze out my last breath

A whisper of longing for love still unknown

Nothing more shall I know but the ground beneath stone

One last taste of wine they granted me kind

As the man in black came to pay me

In death for the crimes that I gladly name mine

The minstrels will sing songs of my traveling

I fought and I schemed and made other men bleed

And protected those who proved deserving

With knife and with sword and the quick witted word

It was the humble, and loved I was serving

So take me, death’s shadow

I have long proved my worth

and have danced with the end

Since the day of my birth

that I just can’t breathe. Can’t think. Can’t comprehend. Can’t fathom why.

The kind of day where I’m just going to bury my head and heart in a book and wait for it to be over.